Damn you AF

For those of you unaware AF is a common acronym for your monthly period.

I am pissed as hell and feeling a little gypped. This post is full of TMI ( too much information) so feel free to stop reading at this point.

I got my first post partum AF last weekend. P called it accurately and said I only fight irrationally like that when I
am about to get AF. At the time it was a grave insult and I came back at him with everything I had but a few short hours later my very first AF was here.

I was excited, it had been a long time since I had one obviously. A is almost 8 months old. I had heard the first one is terrible, so I was ready. I had tons of allergy friendly chocolate handy, and Tylenol just in case. I was set.

I was also nervous with the dr imposed 9 months restriction ending soon, we could TTC #2 this summer now. (We wanted to try naturally for a few months since we have exhausted our current infertility benefits and RE doesn’t accept Aetna, also tick tock, it took us 5 years to get A).

By Monday though, everything I had felt was replaced with anger pure and simple. This AF never progressed beyond mild spotting for 2 days. I didn’t get full flow, I didn’t have any cramps, nothing. I know most would say be thankful but my body failed me yet again.

Pure and simple my body failed. This jeopardizes everything. At the back of my mind is the voice that reminds me my mom menopaused at 42.

P and I would love to have a second baby (not being greedy but u know)
however lately we find ourselves telling each other that A is enough for us more and more in recognition of the fear that it may not happen.

Failing body, barely there AF, age, bad eggs, and no infertility benefits left. I am not greedy but I really would have liked a second baby and now I am not sure that will happen for us.


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